Who Pays for the Wedding?

One of the fuzziest areas in wedding planning is the finances—or ,simply put, who pays for what.

With changes in customs and traditions, and with the economics of society, change in the financial arrangements of weddings is inevitable. With the average age of brides and grooms rising, more couples are choosing to bear the entire cost of the wedding.

As a general rule, the bride’s family traditionally bore the brunt of the expense, as the notion of a “dowry” was prevalent. The wedding was also traditionally in the bride’s hometown, and this meant that the groom’s family and friends were considered guests. Now, with women commonly not working or living in their hometown when they get engaged, and the bride and groom choosing to have a wedding where they live, the equation has changed.

A common “formula” these days (if one can call it that) is to have the groom’s family pay for the rehearsal dinner, (and sometimes the honeymoon) and the bride’s family to pay for the reception—or more commonly to set aside a budget for the reception, with the couple adding to fund any deficit.  The bride’s family also pays for her wedding dress. The rest of the expenses are very fluid; however, here is a “traditional” break-down of the expenses. Don’t be shocked by the bias!

The bride: The groom’s wedding ring, gifts for bridesmaids, lodging for out-of-town attendants

The groom: The engagement ring, bride’s wedding ring, marriage officiating fees, clergy fee, lodging for out-of-town attendants, and transportation

The bride’s parents: The reception, wedding gown, church and other ceremony fees, invitations, ceremony flowers, arch, and other rentals, corsages, bouquet, and wedding breakfast

The groom’s parents: Rehearsal dinner, wedding brunch, and (sometimes) honeymoon

Increasingly, parents from both sides are participating and chipping in for the reception because it is the most expensive part of the wedding. Also, the honeymoon is many times taken care of by the couple.

With intercultural weddings becoming more common, it is not unusual for a totally different set of rules to come into play. Regardless of the situation, the best idea is for the parents and the couple to have a conversation about expectations. A couple will do well to open the discussion earlier in the wedding planning process, to avoid any misunderstanding that may arise later.